Only Kindness Matters

I’m sure you’ve seen the fancy post that if you can choose to be anything be kind. And sure, it’s a great sentiment, but somedays are bad days and being kind is feels anything but possible. I’m grateful that we don’t all have the same bad days, so the people that are struggling with kindness are balanced out by those who aren’t. That being said, I do think that right now our world would benefit from more kindness, and while it would be nice if everyone woke up tomorrow and said I am going to be way nicer today than I was yesterday, that doesn’t address where the hate and meanness is coming from.

Just as waking up and saying I’m going to be nice doesn’t magically make all of your actions and behaviors nice, I don’t think anyone wakes up and thinks how can I be mean and hateful today. I think hate, like anger, is really a secondary emotion. It’s there to mask the more vulnerable feelings inside. I think one of the primary places things fueling hateful responses, and a lot of name calling, is feeling unsafe and insecure.

There are so many unknowns swirling around us right now, and our reptilian brain is doing everything it can to get us back to safety, trying to help us feel in control. Being right, and making sure those who are “wrong” know it, is an attempt to find safety.

What if instead of saying to the person who is having a different response than you, that they are stupid, selfish, entitled, ignorant, etc. You said: I am scared. I am scared that I or someone I love is going to get really sick, and possibly die. I feel out of control. I am scared of all of the unknowns, I am unsure of what to do. I want someone to take responsibility for all of this mess so we can hurry up and get back to normal.

Is it possible that everyone is doing the best that they can with the information they have? Reality? There is very little undeniable fact in the world, that’s why so many things treated as truth are actually called theories (germ theory comes to mind right now…).

What we all want right now is to have an end in sight. Limbo is one of the hardest places to live. Limbo is even harder to live in when everyone is yelling at each other for not doing it right. Limbo will always feel abnormal, but it will feel a lot better if we can lead with love and acceptance.

Questions to help get you to that place:

What am I doing to take responsibility for myself?

What can I remove from my current experience to lower my feelings of anger, frustration, hate, and malice?

What am I doing to release my belief that others have a responsibility to make me feel a certain way?

What proactive steps/ preparations am I making to ensure that if what I fear comes to pass I am in the best possible position to rise to the occasion?

Take a deep breathe, turn inwards, focus on dealing with your fears through personal course correction. Find a way to be empowered, without belittling others.


Getting Rid Of The Rules

It’s 11:33 pm and the inspiration and the words fill my mind. I find myself arguing with the rules. It’s late. Your alarm is going to go off at 6:30 tomorrow morning. Is it really the best idea to blog, on your business blog, at this time of night? The words cluttering my mind go on and on and on. But this time I hear the words that I say to my clients all of the time “Get rid of the rules.”

How much of your life is dictated by “the rules”?  Don’t worry I can hear the panic you’re feeling right now, but the rules, the rules keep things on track, the rules keep me in my lane, the rules make sure that I am doing what I am supposed to when I a supposed to be doing it. The rules make sure that I go to bed when I a supposed to, the rules make sure that I eat what I am supposed to, the rules make sure that I am parenting my kids the way that I am supposed to, the rules make me safe.

What if the rules are a lie? What if the rules are a figment of your imagination? What if the rules aren’t keeping your safe, but the rules are keeping you stuck? How often do you think of something you would love to do (blog at 11:38 at night) but the rules tell you that is not the time that sort of thing happens, or doing that thing will wreck havoc on the rest of  your life, or tomorrow at the very least?

When these rules come up I encourage you to ask yourself; where did this rule come from? Is this rule actually true? By “breaking this rule do I feel guilty? If I got rid of this rule would I feel more free? Would I feel more authentic? What is keeping me attached to this rule?

You’re not alone, the rules come in all shapes and sizes and we all have them. From big things about what makes someone a good person, friend, mother, father, child etc. to what is the correct time to have dinner and put your kids to bed.

How would it feel to release yourself from the rules that you think are keeping you safe, and live presently, in the moment? How would it feel to blog at 11:41 at night? How would it feel to not care about how your child dressed themselves? How would it feel to not feed your kids dinner, and have snacks instead… without creating a story about why it’s okay or justified this time? How would it feel to hang a picture of a rainbow unicorn in your living room because it makes you feel good? How would it feel to leave the dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry on the bathroom floor, and put your kids to bed with dirty feet?

Checking in with yourself, and the rules you have created about the “right” way to live your life versus the present way to live your life can bring profound levels of peace and understanding. Allowing yourself to understand the reason behind why you do what you do, and eliminating or, or accepting it, can open up the door to change and living life more authentically.

If you are struggling to understand the rules you’ve created around your existence I can help you determine where they are, as well as guide you in creating a life of authentic existence.


Tiny Dancer

If you have ever had a chance to spend more than 24 hours with me (not necessarily all at once) you know that I love to dance. I can’t help myself. For better or worse I find myself dancing behind my grocery cart, slowing my jog to add a few box steps in, the car, office, and shower, aren’t immune to my moves. This isn’t a new phenomenon, I’ve been dancing since I was a small child, my preference back then was to run around the coffee table to Neil Diamonds Coming to America.

I’m asked frequently if I was a cheerleader in high school, no. I took a dance class when I was a sophomore in high school, it was so short lived my mom can’t remember driving me there. I had to quit because I couldn’t turn the same direction as everyone else. I was capable of turning to the left and to the right, and chronically did the opposite of everyone else. I accepted that I was a free styler, and moved on. I wasn’t going to stop because I knew I had to honor the tiny dancer.

grayscale photography of girl doing ballet
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

What’s a tiny dancer you ask? Everyone has their own “tiny dancer” it’s the thing you measure your vitality and life force with. How engaged and excited about life am I? How much dancing am I doing inside? I didn’t actually recognize this tiny dancer until the time in my life she laid down, and stopped dancing.  I’d spent so much time with her I didn’t realize that my outside could keep going as if things were normal while me insides didn’t feel like dancing anymore. My tiny dancer’s favorite song would come on and she’d lie there wondering the reasons she didn’t want to dance anymore, and that seemed to make things worse.  I listened harder, turned the music louder but she still didn’t want to dance.

As I started to take a personal inventory I realized that not only was she not dancing anymore after a time, neither was I. The things in my life that brought me joy didn’t anymore. Even worse the things that I felt the most passionate about that brought out the spark of Marci weren’t an integral part of my life anymore. With the help of my excellent life coach I was able to slowly identify where I’d lost the skip in my step, the reason I let it go, and the steps I would have to take to get it back.

It was a really good day when my song came on and my tiny dance leapt to her feet and started dancing. I now check in frequently and know that if I’m not dancing through the parking lot, grocery store, or kitchen it’s time to do a personal inventory.  Where am I compromising my values and not honoring my true nature and take the SMART and SIMPLE steps to get back to where I know I love to be!

How do you gage your vitality and life force?

What do you do to regenerate  when you can feel yourself slipping?

Are you struggling to answer those questions?

Would you like help figuring it all out?

Let’s just say I know a lady who can help you with that? Contact

I’m working on growing my Facebook page, once I hit 100 likes I will be dancing there, I hope you take a minute to like my page, and once I’ve done my dancing I will link it there for all to see! FACEBOOK Dynamic Life Utah


Feed it, Face it, Take it for a Walk

Emotions. They can run wild, hide in the dark, and flow peacefully like a river. This morning my emotions were running wild. While the thought of feeding them (peanut butter M&Ms preferably) I chose to take them for a walk (run).

Emotions; dealing with them isn’t the same each time. Occasionally I feed mine, I acknowledge that I’m a feeding my emotions, acknowledge that it isn’t going to fix the problem, it’s a temporary solution, and then I slowly and methodically savor each bite of the donut. If I’m going to eat the donut I want to ensure that it is benefitting me. I can let the rush of emotions I am trying to get rid of take over my mind and get to the end of the donut without even realizing that I ate it. Or I can slow down and enjoy the donut. Slowing down being the most important part of the activity. Slowing down helps me take an inventory of what is on my mind, of course I don’t reassess until AFTER the donut is gone. Slowing down helps me check in my emotions with my priorities and appropriately categorize them, and schedule a time to face them. Being kind to myself when I am doing the socially unacceptable thing (SUGAR!!) to take care of myself. The time to be concerned about this choice? When it becomes the majority, the every time, the only option you think you have to deal with your emotions.

Take them for a walk. If you live in my house you will hear me talk about the importance of endorphins. This year we were fortunate to get a dog. It’s been a helpful way to send the grouchy kid (or adult) out the door under the guise of walking the dog. In truth the dog is walking the human, cause he knows how much happier his humans are when they are moving their bodies. Today the weight of the week, the responsibilities of work and home, and life in general reared her ugly head. For just a second I thought of climbing back into bed and pulling the covers over my head (one of the important reasons I make my bed, harder to get back in). And then my body said RUN! Not run away, but MOVE your body, step outside of the chaos for a second. So I listened and I’m grateful I did. This is the same thing as when my house feels super messy. If I leave and give myself a break for a bit when I step back in the mess seems smaller, and I feel more prepared to face it. The body movement has double benefit, you are stepping away, and giving your happy hormones a kick!

Face it. Typically the least popular, most avoided method of taking care of your emotions. This has the highest return on investment. Like most things the greater the challenge the greater the reward. The most important step with this is not looking at the big emotion and thinking that is what you are working with. Within every emotions is smaller emotions, and corners, pieces, and chunks. I have my clients take a deep breathe and ask them what else is in this? What is under it? What is next to it? Finding the smallest most seemingly insignificant feeling is, most times, the best place to start. Dr. John Demartini says by the inch it’s a cinch, by the mile it’s a pile (it’s what I chant when I am cleaning up a big mess). Many times clients don’t initially believe me that starting with the most insignificant thing will have the most impact. But it will, because the chances of facing it, processing it, and having long term success is the highest. This in turn makes the next thing seem smaller because it’s no longer dragging its kid brother with it.

Emotions aren’t going away, all emotions are healthy, dealing with them in different ways is inevitable and good for you. Moving in with any one or two emotions, making it your best friend, and never letting it go, is NOT healthy. Buy it a donut, take it for a walk, and then find a small seemingly insignificant action, and get consistent with doing it.

Feeling like your emotions are to much to process on your own? I can help! check out my about page for more info.


Why a Life Coach?

Why would you look to a life coach, specifically me, to help you with your life?

Here are 5 reasons Marci and Dynamic Life Coaching may be the perfect fit for what you would like to achieve:

  • Life Coaching is focused on forward progress. Rather then spending time talking about the problem Dynamic Life Coaching is solution focused. After getting very specific about what is going on the focus shifts to solutions.
  • You may know what the problem is, you may know the solution, but you are stuck with how to start. Through specific questions I will help you determine the best starting point for YOU. Dynamic Life Coaching uses a very personalized approach, step 1 for you may be someone else’s step 3 my job is to help you figure that out.
  • You know you want something different in your life but you don’t know what that is. I will help you uncover that which you are seeking. Many times the answer is right in front of you, but for one reason or another you have talked yourself out of it. I will help you stop the excuses and work towards actualization.
  •  You know the change you want to make but you are SCARED! Fear is the number one thing that keeps up comfortable in our discomfort. When we work together I help you navigate the unknown while you make the sometimes bumpy transition to a healthy comfort zone.
  • Accountability. Goals are much easier and likely to be reached if someone is holding your accountable to the rewards AND consequences of whether or not your are following through. Goals can range from business oriented to gaining self worth, different on paper, but both require accountability to the steps it takes to achieve them.

These are only 5 of the many reasons a life coach, specifically me, can help you on your journey of forward progression. Would you like to schedule a complimentary consultation to see if I’m the right fit for you? CLICK HERE